THESE FOUR WALLS

I love my home - it's where I chose to give birth to my babies - but every now and again, the walls cave in on me and it gets too much.

I need to get away.

Last week I had my first break ever away from the children. I went back to London for two nights to reconnect with myself, and it was great, not being on red alert nor saying "Don't" the whole time.

This weekend we're going away as a family. All of us, hubby is finally going to be off work for more than a day at a time and we can all spend some quality time together. We're even taking my parents so that we might enjoy ourselves, rather than it being a repeat of last year's Enduarance Roadshow when we went away with two crazy toddlers and a newborn and it lashed rain all week.

Chaos Roadshow

Last year I came back from holiday suddenly falling in love with all my home comforts and everything there is to do with kids around here.

Why is it that a change of scene is manna for our souls?

And why do we need to go away in the first place?

I think it's because we need to re-programme our brains slightly. That we need to be more external all of a sudden, and realise that there is life out there waiting to be explored. That we need to get our of our rut and laugh a little.

That we need to live a little bit more, differently and out of synch with our usual routines.

I'm contemplating what to pack for this chaos roadshow now; wetsuits, wellies, rainmacks and bikes. Thankfully I'm a lot more relaxed than I was last year when I had a screaming newborn consuming my every thought.

I'll probably be craving home after a few late nights and early mornings prompted by kids out of their comfort zones unable to sleep without blackout blinds.

Craving the safety of home where we have high bolts on the external doors so the kids can't escape onto the road, and a garden that is unescapable.

But sometimes we have to push ourselves to do something we know will provide positive early memories for the kids, because holidays to beaches is what childhood is made of.

And if only to prove to my eldest that our wet week in Kenmare last year wasn't the best holiday ever - as he still asks people if they've been to Kenmare because it's amazing.

I'm excited now, because we're providing a new experience that the kids and we will remember all our lives.

Even if we're only going to Wexford, hoping for sunshine.