Wednesday, September 12, 2012

LIFE BEGINS....

Something happened on Saturday that I'm still getting my head around. 

I became a 40-year-old mum of 3.

When it's written down and you don't know the person, it sounds like they're over-the-hill and dowdy. 

Many a time I've heard a news piece mention a 40-year-old mum of 3 and never imagined that description, which for some strange reason conjurs up images of someone past their prime, as ever being applicable to me.

I've been re-calculating (as our satnav says) ever since.  

The reality is I FEEL GREAT. I feel young in my mind - what's 40 supposed to feel like anyway?

I've got cards sitting on my mantlepiece saying "Fabulous at 40"... "Flirty and 40"... "Life begins at 40"...

Why is there such a big stigma attached to decade-birthdays?

I feel seasoned. Well-rounded. Mature. Comfortable. 

I think I look younger than 40. But then what does 40 look like anymore? I'm the same generation as Kate Moss and Cameron Diaz, and they're looking fab at 40. Not that I've ever compared myself to them - or even viewed them as role models (I've always been too much my own person for that, thankfully).

Me this weekend, away in Girona, celebrating my 40th

I feel that I have the ability to be wise - and the confidence FINALLY to tune into how I'm feeling and stay with it, not changing it for anyone. I feel that turning 40 is suddenly making me feel very solid. I know myself now. I know what I'm capable of. I know how to achieve what I want. And I'm not going to take any shit anymore.

I'm not entirely sure what I want to acheive in the next decade, but maybe a move back into the workforce would be a good idea, given that I've earned nothing in the last 5 years! Designing a CV is currently high on my list of things to do in the next few weeks.

Having 3 kids in 4 years gave me confidence I never knew I had. I had to dig deep and find reserves not yet discovered such as extreme patience, operating at rock-bottom energy, taming mama rage, utter exhaustion, despair and overwhelm. But once I found a way of weathering the storm each time I came out of it stronger, more balanced than before, learning from my mistakes and able for whatever else the kids could throw at me.

My babies are now nearly 5, 3 and 1 and thanks to school and Thyroid energy pills, I finally feel I'm getting my life back.

Writing this blog has brought me out of myself in the past six months. I was feeling very "internal" before. I knew I needed to be more "external" to get through the feelings of being overwhelmed by 3 screaming smallies (these were the words I was using to Hubby) and that involved downloading my story into a Blog, to smooth the choppy waters of parenting and give me insights into my daily misadventures in mama-hood. 

It has given me a creative outlet which along with my painting, has given me sanctuary away from the kids. 

It has given me the opportunity to re-connect with myself and a whole new audience and e-buddies out there - and getting to grips with new tech such as Twitter which caught me offguard when I was in the baby bubble. 

I think I've finally found the right balance in life. 

So yeah turning 40 rocks! 

It's all good.

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6 comments:

Tree Peters said...

I love it. I only have one child, but I didn't meet my husband until I was 38 and then had her at 42. We sometimes lament the "lost years", but then set ourselves to being more fit and healthy in these years than we ever were before.
3 kids in 4 years is just physically a lot for your body. I hope you take care to put some good stuff back in. (Though I'm not sure how you manage anythnig but wrangling "smallies".)
And Happy Birthday!!!!!

mindthebaby said...

Happy birthday Amy! You don't look a day over 28. Lovely post.

mindthebaby said...

Happy birthday Amy! You don't look a day over 28. Lovely post.

Katri said...

Oh, Happy happy birthday!

Emily Foran said...

Happy Birthday - I feel more confident & wonderful with age too, love how you've embraced the milestone xx

(Not) Maud said...

Happy belated birthday! I'll turn 40 next summer and I'm not yet quite at peace with it. But I totally agree that becoming a mother makes you a hundred times better qualified and more able for any other job life my throw at you. Best of luck with it!